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  • aomiarmster 12:59 AM on 21/06/2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: monster   

    Am I truly a monster? 

     
  • aomiarmster 9:48 PM on 14/06/2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , ever-dead, , monster,   

    She used to be something else entirely but she’s pretty much a type of ever-dying creature, agonizing as her body attempts to remain alive. Lets say she has a lot of poison and a whole lot of ice to deal with.

    I will attempt a remake of her in a much better drawn format.

     
  • aomiarmster 1:33 AM on 14/06/2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , monster   

    Do I look like a fucking monster to you? I do? WONDERFUL. Start running, I love moving targets. 

     
  • aomiarmster 8:08 PM on 12/06/2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: monster   

    I am not this monster you made me out to be since you are the same as me.
    I gave you no illusions and you fell to your own delusion.

     
  • aomiarmster 5:41 PM on 11/06/2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: monster   

    You say I’m a monster as if that’s a bad thing. 

    You don’t have to project your own insecurities at me.

     
  • aomiarmster 12:05 AM on 10/06/2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , monster, ,   

    You hate me because I have a voice. I stayed silent for so long. You can finally hear me and that makes me a monster now?!

    May you never hear again.

    Aomi
     
  • aomiarmster 12:12 PM on 08/06/2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , monster,   

    Aoen – No Shame 

    I am not the monster you made me out to be.

    There is no shame in being a monster.

     
  • aomiarmster 12:04 PM on 07/06/2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , monster,   

    Aomi’s nudity opens Pandora’s Box. 

    i bring this up  i do not know what is what – yet. I have not even set up a proper background for this demon.

    a good portion of events were not even my idea – but they were the ideas from other people that had either suggested or made up scenarios and felt the need to horrify me with them. i have kept ALL of these but i have not applied them.

    ————-

    the main issue had been as to why Aomi would waltz about in the nude.

    I LIKE the idea of a character enjoying their own body – has this something to do with me personally? NO. 

    Ever since I realized certain people were / are easily frightened by nudity – I put that into Aomi’s character. I even made sure Aomi was never vulgar about it either.

    AND THIS WAS BACK in 1997.

    There is a huge difference between cannon Aomi and Aomi adventures implied by other people. and it was a huge mistake of mine to never have clarified the differences.  it was long ago too but now I have to answer for it.

    this was when the pandora’s box opened. events, people, ideas, thoughts that were not mine – not in my control BUT FROM OTHER PEOPLE.

    I made the mistake ONCE to try and apply one of these events into my artwork – to say the least it made me upset, it made others upset and HENCEFORTH that image and that scenario was wiped away. it could not ever be applied it could not happen – but it did.

    and the damage was already done. I had inadvertently thrown Aomi to the scumbags.

    I never wanted to trivialize the subject matter – most of us realized this but still that horrid dark cloud remains. I understood that I was the master of all things regarding my creations and work.

    Again – in some situations, i had no say for the ideas (they were NOT my ideas)  that were thrown at me. All I could do was apply or not apply. MORE OFTEN THAN NOT I never applied. it would’ve been soul destroying to do so.

    I did not design Aomi to be my punching bag or any other persons’ punching bag.

    Aomi is not a punching bag and Aomi is not a sexual tension reliever.

    What had caused this chaotic situation now? Simple, it is very simple. SIMPLE NUDITY.

    It started because of nudity. 

    That was when I was asked by several people what the reason for the nudity was.  In short – I was lazy and didn’t want to draw clothes – as far as character trait goes, Aomi likes being naked and hanging out in bodies of water. 

    BECAUSE OF THAT – so then they drop that bomb on me. that one bomb I did not think of – did not want to think of – that bomb I did not want to even include with this character.

    I was asked if Aomi had been sexually abused / is being sexually abused. They asked if I HAD applied such events onto Aomi. NO. NO. NO.

    This froze me, this hurt me.  Where were they getting this from?

    Ah, Aomi’s supposed promiscuity came into the picture.

    Is canon Aomi promiscuous ? I never brought it up.

    Sure, Aomi enjoys flirting, being touchy-feely, being nude and showing off mildly – but actually engage in rampant sexual encounters? I never confirmed or denied this.

    So what if Aomi would enjoy sex? So what if Aomi didn’t?

    If I were to deny a request – Aomi would be deemed a slut, a whore, and other vile adjectives.  OH! OH AOMI SAID NO TO ME, AOMI IS A FUCKING WHORE! Suddenly my existence as the creator did not matter to these people.

    My entire stance in the issue was only that Aomi enjoyed her/his own body and liked being nude- the whole factor was to make others uncomfortable with simple nudity.

    Whether Aomi enjoyed having sex or sought out sex – I never brought it up.

    So if Aomi is comfortable with his/her body and enjoys sex does not mean that that stems from abuse.   They even suggested that the nudity would cause sexual abuse. The whole horror of “THEY ASKED FOR IT”

    If I glance at the statistics about sexual abuse, yeah, I can see how it might apply but NOT in every case. NO ONE ASKS FOR IT. No one asks to be raped. No one asks to be abused.

    I can understand where they were coming from, asking me that question.  I did not want to use sexual abuse as the catalyst to explain Aomi’s  discomfort or comfort of her/his sexuality. I did not use it. No, no. and no.

    OTHERS have.  I can’t control what other people feel or think – specially with little information they have. For the most part, with whatever I had put out there, I left it that way so that people could draw their own conclusions.

    I wish that from the start I had clarified what was canon. What I WANTED for Aomi.

    For the most part, I feel horrible, I should’ve clarified everything from the start so that the “Aomi does not have sex Aomi gets assaulted” and the “Aomi was assaulted so Aomi has sex” did not have to apply. IT NEVER DID.

    I don’t like where they went with this – they basically said I was trivializing a very serious issue.  What trivializing? How? I never even made a scenario to include such a thing! IT NEVER EVER CROSSED MY MIND.

    When it all started it was simply about making people uncomfortable about nudity- THAT’S IT. There was no sex involved. Period.

    so people brought sex up, i didn’t have a problem with that – then it got very scary – i had to stop it.  it was out of the question then.

    As I said, I had/have no control over what people think and feel. They came up with their own conclusions. I can correct them of course.

    How did it go from Aomi enjoying her/his nudity because HE/SHE JUST DOES -to Aomi flaunts her/himself because she/he was a victim of sexual abuse or that because of flaunting Aomi gets sexually abused?

    So if Aomi had been abused and in order to deal with that horror he/she would fall into a spiral of self destruction by flaunting her/his body and engaging in rampant sexual encounters?

    So if Aomi just enjoys relaxing in her/his own skin means Aomi is asking to be assaulted? What?

    Seriously. What? THAT is what they told me, that was their reasoning to come out of the wood work and hassle me.

    I was trying to explain that there was no shame( as in there being WILLING – CONSENTING ADULTS)  in enjoying sex ( i did not get that far) and that nudity was not a crime.

    OH, BY ALL MEANS, I’M A REAL FUCKING MONSTER.

     
  • aomiarmster 1:27 AM on 06/06/2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: monster   

    There is no wrong being a Monster 

     
  • aomiarmster 8:08 PM on 12/04/2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , , monster, , , , torment   

    Hiding from the horrors out there will not help you in anyway. You will acknowledge their existence and you will move on. If you linger and whine about not being shielded by every horrible fucking thing the town will not accommodate your emotional baggage. It will throw it right back at you so hard you won’t be able to get used to the new fear. It will become an age of torment, a new hell. Try to survive, hm? Cyqueen, Silent Hill: Dead & Aware
     
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